Letting things go | rant

September 30th, 2008
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What I have learned mostly the past few weeks as a project manager/team member is:

  • I have (at least I think) distinct ideas of how certain parts of a project should run therefore
  • I wish to do the things my way and feel frustrated when the rest of the group rejects my ideas
  • Either I am bad explaining or sometimes people don’t actually listen to what I am trying to say
  • There are many ways that lead to Rome. Knowing this is not enough this should be practised as well.

Realising that everyone (most people) have their own ideas of how a project should run and that everyone wants to do the things their way means: either I have to let go of things, the other has to let go things or we should come to an agreement where both parties give in and let everyone win-win.

To be honest, it is kind of frustrating when I bring in ideas and often a major part (if not all) of the project group reject my idea(s) beforehand. Either I am a horrible teller or persuader, my ideas suck or people sometimes just don’t listen to what I am actually saying and sometimes rephrase me as if my idea is wrong and theirs is right while we both actually meant the same thing. I am sure I am not the only one who experiences this in real life. I wonder, is communicating one of the things that are most subjective in life?

That kind of makes me wonder many things like: why I am still contributing ideas, must I follow a course where I learn how to tell things, is it because I am a woman, why don’t I use my energy in an other way and still achieve what I want? => good working prototype, lots of EC Points and happy project members (including me!).

Instead of insistingly want to put through my ideas and only to find out that most don’t agree with me, why not let them bring in the ideas? There are many ways that lead to Rome and doing it differently doesn’t mean we won’t get there. To be able to manage doesn’t always mean things have to follow a certain path, it is all fluid. Every course or path if fine as long as goals will be reached within a certain amount of time. If eventually things turn out bad because we headed into a certain direction, you won’t hear me say “I told you…” but I will tell myself “You idiot! Next time make sure we take this course..”. And if I am wrong, I can only be happy to learn from it.

In the end we are still students and are allowed to make mistakes, I just hope we all learn from it. I just need to stop telling how I want to do things, instead I should start up a conversations where issues will be discussed and let the others decide how and which actions to take to reach the next goals. There is always a place and time to share my knowlegde and that time will be when it is necessary and not because I want to do it my way….

Education & Multimedia, MissYeh, NHL CMD, Reflectieverslagen , , ,

  1. September 30th, 2008 at 22:23 | #1

    Intressting post; I see similar ‘mind struggles’ in several of our senior developers. There is ‘a correct way’ of doing things and there is ‘my way’ of doing things. Inexperienced senior developers often confuse the two, and try to enforce the development team to do things their way. Sometimes even to the extent that they rewrite parts of code that was written.

    However, the fact that something isn’t written entirely the way you would’ve done it, doesn’t mean it’s necessarily wrong. Sometimes a different solution is equally adequate and ‘good enough’. Trying to enforce a different way, just because you would’ve done it differently, then leads to frustration in both parties.

  2. October 1st, 2008 at 19:57 | #2

    Thank you for your comment Ivo. The more I think about this the more I can let go of what I want, and start seeing that things can be different and I should value the differences and learn from it instead of being stubborn. Also, letting things go is also a way to learn to have faith in others as well ;)

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